


monsters (but, like, the good kind)

by distortionist



Series: io’s persona brainrot [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi Goro and Sakura Futaba Are Half-Siblings, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Non-binary character, this focuses more on the comfort than the hurt dw, weird metaphors about monsters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27791287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distortionist/pseuds/distortionist
Summary: Futaba isn’t feeling too great. Goro does his best to help. Conversations about moms and monsters ensue.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Sakura Futaba, background akeshu and sumitaba
Series: io’s persona brainrot [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2038486
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	monsters (but, like, the good kind)

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS... very self indulgent. it’s like 3k words of me projecting i’m sorry 
> 
> idk exactly when this would take place in canon, but probably about a year or two post-p5r?? (there’s no p5r spoilers here btw! kasumi is here but that’s it) 
> 
> ALSO this is a minor detail but i like to think all the confidants are this weird messy little family that akira’s accumulated and now they’re just all rlly well acquainted with each other. which means they have a big groupchat for Family Matters (and for the kids to spam dumb memes) 
> 
> plz heed the tags!! there’s some talk of self harm, but nothing graphic. just taking care of the wounds

Around five in the evening, Goro received a text from Sojiro. He glanced away from his laptop, eyeing his phone; He’d been doing work for his college courses all afternoon, and to be honest, any distraction was a good distraction at this point. 

**Boss:** Has anyone seen Futaba? They left the house early this morning and still haven’t come back. They left their phone at home too. 

For a moment, Goro thought Sojiro must have just been being paranoid. But then he remembered that this was Futaba they were talking about— It was awfully strange for Futaba to be away from home that long, especially without their phone. To be honest, it was strange for Futaba to even be awake early in the morning to begin with.

 **Akiren:** i saw them in shibuya while i was at work but didn’t get the chance to ask what was up. is everything okay?? 

**coolest person ever (Shinya):** they were at the arcade earlier 

For a moment, Goro smiled at Shinya’s contact name— The kid had set it to that himself a while back when he’d managed to snag Goro’s phone. The smile quickly faded, though, when he received another text.

 **coolest person ever (Shinya):** it looked like they were upset but my mom came and dragged me out of the arcade b4 i could ask them abt it

Goro hadn’t been too concerned about the situation at first. It was weird behavior for Futaba, but to be honest, they themself were very strange sometimes and acted in bizarre ways. One day of running around Shibuya on their own surely wasn’t something to worry too much about.

But hearing that Futaba seemed upset made Goro a bit worried; Not that he’d go around admitting that. 

He closed his laptop, deciding that schoolwork could wait until later. 

**Akechi:** I’ll head out and look for them. I was about to grab dinner anyways.

 **Sae:** Hopefully you find them soon. It’s been raining out for a while, and I wouldn’t want them catching a cold. 

With that, Goro pocketed his phone and grabbed his bag, heading out of his apartment. He grabbed his umbrella out of his bag, opening it the moment he stepped outside. It was absolutely pouring out— Despite having an umbrella, he could already feel his clothes getting wet. 

Luckily, he lived just on the outskirts of Shibuya, not too far away from Central Street— The arcade was only about a 10 minute walk away, which meant that if he walked particularly fast, he’d be there before he got _too_ drenched. 

When Goro arrived at the arcade, it wasn’t particularly hard to find Futaba. They sat just outside the building, clutching their backpack and shaking. Their hair was dripping wet, their glasses covered in drops of water, and their clothes absolutely drenched. Goro sighed, kneeling down in front of them.

“What on earth are you doing outside in this weather?” he questioned. Futaba looked up, their eyes wide with surprise.

“Jeez, you scared me! I didn’t notice you.”

“Sorry. But seriously— What are you doing?”

“Got kicked out of the arcade... Some kid kept saying I was cheating ‘cause I beat all his leaderboard high scores, and I screamed at him.” They frowned, staring at the ground. “I feel bad for yelling at him. He was just a kid. And— And I sounded just like my old cognition of my mom when I started yelling. It was bad. I feel gross.”

“Oh.” Goro wasn’t sure what to say to that, but Futaba’s guilty expression made something in his chest tighten uncomfortably. “Hey, let’s get out of here, alright? You’re gonna catch a cold if you stay out in this rain.”

“I don’t wanna walk all the way back to the station, and then all the way to Leblanc in this weather...” Futaba frowns. “Besides, I’m soaking wet. Sitting in the subway like this is gonna suck.”

“My apartment is only a few minutes away, so let’s just head there, okay?” Goro held his hand out, and Futaba hesitantly took it. He helped them up and pulled them under his umbrella. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m doing great, Detective! Just sat in the rain crying my eyes out for an hour! Best day of my life!” 

Goro sighed. He wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he simply started walking, holding onto Futaba’s hand to make sure they didn’t stray away. 

“Sorry...” Futaba mumbled. “That was mean. I shouldn’t have been so passive aggressive.”

“It’s alright.” Goro shook his head. “You’re upset. I get it. Wanna talk about it when we get to my apartment?”

“I dunno.” Futaba stared at the ground. “Maybe.”

“Okay.” Goro squeezed Futaba’s hand reassuringly. “No pressure.”

Goro wasn’t really the best at being comforting— He never had been. All the comfort and reassurance he gave was scripted directly from what he’d seen from his friends, and he desperately hoped it was enough. Though he had spent a majority of his life without Futaba, he still fully viewed them as his little sibling, and he wanted to be there for them to the best of his ability.

“You’re thinking too loud,” Futaba complained, nudging Goro with their elbow. “Shut up.”

“I come all the way out in the rain to get you, and this is how you treat me?”

“Akira says little siblings are supposed to bully their big siblings.”

“Well, Akira doesn’t even have any siblings.”

“I dunno, man. Me, Mona, Shinya, Lavenza, and Sumi are definitely like his pseudo-little siblings. And Makoto is basically his pseudo-twin sister,” Futaba argued, shrugging. “I think you’re just jealous that you only get one sibling, and he gets five.”

“Absolutely not, but good try.”

The conversation continued on like that for a while as they quickly headed back to Goro’s apartment; They bickered and teased each other over the sound of the pelting rain and Shibuya rush, all the while getting completely soaked. 

When they finally made it to Goro’s apartment, Futaba sprinted inside as fast as humanly possible. Goro quickly followed, closing his umbrella and shaking some of the excess water off of it. 

“Jeez, it’s freezing in here! Do you even have a heating system?” Futaba whined, already starting to shiver.

“Sorry,” Goro said, already adjusting the thermostat. “I usually prefer cooler temperatures when I’m not soaked with rainwater.”

“I guess that makes sense.” Futaba sighed, standing awkwardly in the entryway of Goro’s apartment. “Uhm— What should I do? I don’t wanna get your apartment all wet.”

“Wait here, I can get you a towel and a change of clothes.” Just as Goro moved to leave, something caught his eye. He stepped closer to Futaba, pushing their bangs away from their forehead. “You didn’t tell me you got injured.”

“Oh! It’s no big deal, really.” Futaba laughed sheepishly. “Just tripped and fell earlier while I was walking around. Got a little scraped up. I didn’t lose all that much HP from it.”

Now inside Goro’s well lit apartment and not in the cloudy streets of Shibuya, Goro noticed how dirty Futaba’s clothes seemed to be. There were a few blood stains here and there as well. 

“Are you sure you just tripped and fell?” Goro asked, eyeing Futaba with concern. They dropped their gaze to stare at the floor, avoiding eye contact. 

“Yeah! It’s not a huge deal, I swear.”

“I’m not going to force you to tell me,” Goro reassured, “but... I am a bit worried.”

“It’s no big deal, don’t worry.” Futaba looked back up at Goro, flashing him a bright smile. He sighed.

“Either way, you’re absolutely filthy. Here— I’ll go run you a bath. Just wait right—“

“Goro?” Futaba interrupted, their voice suddenly sounding incredibly small. 

“Hm?”

“I— I don’t really wanna be alone right now,” they mumbled, once again staring at the floor. Goro paused. 

“Oh. That’s alright. You may as well come with me anyways— I’m soaking wet too, so the floor is bound to suffer either way.”

“Okay.” Futaba smiled, following Goro to the spare room down the hall. It had unofficially become Futaba’s room at some point or another— The walls were covered in anime and video game posters, Futaba’s spare laptop was left on the desk, and the dresser contained some of Futaba’s spare clothes. 

Goro dug through the drawers for a moment, then tossed Futaba a tank top and some athletic shorts. 

“Throw those on, and I’ll run a bath for you.” Goro dug out some pajamas for Futaba as well, carrying them to the bathroom. Once there, he turned on the faucet, grabbed Futaba’s shower supplies from the cabinet, and set their pajamas and towel to the side for later. 

After a few minutes, Futaba entered the room as well. Without skipping a beat, they immediately stepped into the bath, wincing when they burned their foot.

“Yowch! Why’s the water so hot?” they whined, pouting at Goro. He rolled his eyes.

“I just started running the water. Give me a second to adjust the temperature before you just jump in.” He turned the knob on the faucet until the temperature felt right, then turned back to Futaba. “Besides, I want to deal with that cut on your forehead before anything else.”

“Oh, uhm— There’s. Uh. There’s other ones to deal with too,” Futaba mumbled, lowering their gaze to the floor once again. “Just— Don’t laugh or call me dramatic or whatever?”

“Huh?” Goro blinked. “Why would I do that?”

“Just shut up and promise you won’t!”

“Alright, alright— I promise. I would never do that.” 

Futaba nodded, taking a deep breath. They moved their arms up to show Goro, and things immediately clicked in his head. A few rows of red cuts littered Futaba’s wrists. Most seemed like superficial wounds, though, which was a relief. 

“Okay. I’m going to wash my hands, and then I’ll clean those up. I don’t want them getting infected,” Goro said, shooting Futaba a reassuring smile. He knew turning it into a big deal would only stress Futaba out more, so he spoke as casually as he could given the circumstances. They simply nodded, taking a seat on the edge of the tub while Goro washed his hands and pulled out the first aid kit. “This will probably sting a little bit, but it shouldn’t hurt too much.”

Without much more forewarning, Goro poured some alcohol onto a cloth and began dabbing at Futaba’s cuts. Futaba winced a bit, but didn’t complain. 

“Feel any better?” Goro asked after finishing. 

“Yeah. Thanks.” Futaba smiled, but it didn’t quite reach their eyes. 

“The bath’s almost full. Let me clean up that scrape on your forehead, then you can get in.” Goro pushed Futaba’s bangs to the side, wiping away the dried blood and dirt from their scrape. “All done.”

“Woohoo! Bath time!” Futaba said, smiling— This time, it looked a bit more real. They stood up, stepping into the bath and sitting down in the warm water. “Ooh, this is way nicer than your freezer of an apartment. Feels kinda weird bathing in clothes, though.”

“Well, you said you didn’t want to be left alone right now, so it’s the best compromise I could think of.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m mostly just being silly.” Futaba smiled reassuringly at Goro, and he returned it for just a moment. “Can you hand me my body wash?”

Futaba reached out, making grabby motions with their hands until Goro handed them the bottle.

“Thanks, gumshoe!” 

“I’m not even a detective anymore, Futaba.” Goro rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help smiling just a bit. 

“Whatever,” Futaba replied, cleaning off their arms and legs with the soap. “I still think it’s funny to call you gumshoe.” 

After a moment, Futaba sighed.

“Man, my whole body feels super sore for some reason.”

“Well, you have been out walking around since this morning, and you don’t usually get much physical activity. I’m sure it’s just overexertion.” Goro grabbed the shampoo off the counter. “Here, why don’t you give yourself a break? I’ll wash your hair.”

Futaba nodded, letting Goro take over. He turned the faucet back on for a moment, scooping some water up in his hands to fully wet Futaba’s hair. 

“This kinda reminds me of when I was a kid and my mom would give me baths,” Futaba mumbled, sounding nostalgic. “She’d always braid my hair after so it wouldn’t get tangled.”

“I used to braid my mom’s hair before she went out to work every night,” Goro thought out loud as he worked the shampoo into Futaba’s hair. “She said she liked it better when I did it, because she thought it gave her good luck. She... must have loved me a lot, I guess, if all I had to do to make her happy was braid her hair.”

“Uhm... Maybe when my hair’s all washed, you could braid it?” Futaba asked tentatively, glancing up at Goro. He froze, his hands going still against her head. After a moment, he shook himself out of his daze. 

“Don’t move your head. You’ll get soap in your eyes,” he gently scolded, continuing what he was doing. The talk of mothers was bringing up unwanted feelings. 

“C-Can I talk to you?” Futaba asked after a while of silence. “I mean— I know we’ve been talking. I just mean, like...”

“Go for it.” Goro nodded as he began rinsing the shampoo out of Futaba’s hair. “Careful not to get soap in your face while you talk, though.”

“Right.” Futaba sighed. “This— This is a rhetorical question, but I keep wondering if Palaces can come back after being destroyed. Like— If your desires become distorted again, could your Palace form again? Uhm. To be honest, I didn’t leave the house this morning just to go hang out.”

“I figured as much,” Goro mumbled as he began putting conditioner in Futaba’s hair. 

“I... was thinking about mom again. I know she’s gone, and she’s not coming back. I know it wasn’t my fault, and I know we avenged her, but—“ Futaba cut themself off with a sniffle. “I miss her. I was thinking about her all night last night, and I couldn’t handle all the sadness. I snuck out of the house at, like, midnight, and— I don’t even know what I was planning to do. I just thought that... Maybe it’s best if no one has to deal with me anymore. All I ever do is get sad about my mom and annoy everyone with it.”

“Have they told you that?” Goro asked, pausing in the middle of rinsing Futaba’s hair.

“Huh?”

“Have people told you that you’re annoying them?” he clarified. Futaba frowned.

“Well, no, not to my face... But—“

“No buts.” Goro shook his head. “It’s all in your head. Your friends all love you to the point that it makes me feel like I’m getting cavities, just by watching them. I sincerely doubt they’d ever think of you as annoying.”

“Do you think I’m annoying?” 

Goro blinked at that, not having expected the question to suddenly be turned to him. He looked away, avoiding eye contact. The answer was a solid “No”, but saying that would ruin his Heartless Monster image. 

(Then again, his Heartless Monster image clearly wasn’t holding up so well today anyways.)

“It’s normal to miss your mom, you know,” Goro said, changing the subject. “The source of your distortion was believing that you had killed your mother, but you’ve come to terms with the truth. Your Palace won’t be showing up again any time soon.”

“Uhm...” Futaba fidgeted with their hands nervously. “Do you— Do you still miss your mom too?”

Goro really didn’t want to answer that question, but he supposed this wasn’t really about him anyways. It was for Futaba. 

“I do. A lot,” he admitted. At this point, he’d already finished with Futaba’s hair, but neither of them seemed intent on moving. “I miss her homemade pancakes, and braiding her hair every night, and the way she’d call me her hero. But... You have to move on at some point or another, you know? I think— I think you can still miss someone while also having moved on with your life. They aren’t mutually exclusive things.”

“Yeah.” Futaba smiled a bit. “You’re right. I guess I just let myself get lost in my own feelings again. Thanks, gumshoe.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” Goro shook his head. “I’m your big brother— This is my _job_. I’m just sorry I wasn’t around to do it sooner.” 

A beat of silence passed. 

“The water’s getting cold,” Futaba said, shifting uncomfortably. 

“Go get changed into your pajamas, alright? I’ll clean up in here.” 

Futaba did as told, stepping out of the bath and wrapping themself up in a towel. They grabbed their dry clothes and headed off to their room to get changed. 

Meanwhile, Goro drained the bathtub and put away Futaba’s body wash and shampoo. When he was finally finished, he left the bathroom to go find Futaba.

Strangely enough, Futaba wasn’t anywhere to be seen in their bedroom. Their wet clothes lied in a pile on the floor, but Futaba themself wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Goro assumed they must have headed off to the living room, so he glanced down the hall. No signs of Futaba were in there, either.

“Futaba?” he called out, glancing around his apartment. “Are you alright?”

A beat of silence passed, and then Goro felt something grab at his ankle. He jumped, whipping around to see Futaba sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall of the hallway. They looked equally as upset as they had when he first found them by the arcade earlier.

“S-Sorry!” they exclaimed. “I didn’t— I didn’t mean to scare you. Sorry.”

Goro kneeled down in front of them, eyeing them with concern.

“Did something happen?” 

“I... I was just about to go find you, but I saw that picture of Mom that I put on my desk, and I just—“ Futaba broke down into sobs, hiding their face in their knees. “I’m— I’m no better than I used to be! Nothing’s changed! I’m still the same stupid kid I was before my treasure was taken!” 

Goro sighed, properly taking a seat beside Futaba. He wrapped his arm around their shoulders, pulling them closer. 

“I’ll be honest, I didn’t know you before your change of heart. But based on what I’ve heard, you’ve come a long way, dear.”

“‘Dear?’ You sound like some kinda grandma,” Futaba teased weakly. Goro’s face flushed red at the comment— He hadn’t even noticed the term of endearment leave his mouth. 

“I didn’t mea—“

“No take-backs,” Futaba interrupted, sniffling. “I know you think you’re some big heartless monster who can’t love anyone, and I know you’re probably thinking it’s the end of the world because you accidentally called me some stupid grandma nickname, but— But you’re not a monster, and— You’re allowed to show people that you love them, you know. It doesn’t mean that you’re weak or that they’re gonna stab you in the back later. It makes me sad when you think like that.”

Goro stared at the floor in silence for a long moment. It felt like Futaba had just completely read his mind, analyzing all of his racing thoughts and conflicting emotions in mere seconds. Perhaps he was more of an open book sometimes than he thought.

“I really am a monster, though, you know,” he finally mumbled, glancing over at Futaba. They simply laughed, resting their head against his chest.

“A monster who washes his little sibling’s hair, cleans their wounds, and hugs them through their panic attacks. That’s not a very scary monster, y’know.” Futaba sighed. “But, you know... I’ve always kinda seen myself as some kinda monster too. I mean— even now, even though I know I’m not my mom’s killer. Parts of me just feel wrong. I’m not good at understanding and interacting with people. I just feel so... Different. And weird.”

Goro shook his head.

“You’re not a monster, Futaba.”

“Well. Being a monster doesn’t really have to be a bad thing, though, does it?” Futaba questioned, sitting up so they could properly face Goro. He removed his arm from around their shoulders, moving to face them as well. “There’s, like... More than one kind of monster, y’know? There’s— There’s Shido Monsters and Madarame Monsters and Kamoshida Monsters. The gross, ugly beasts who act purely out of self interest. And then there’s Futaba Monsters and Goro Monsters. We’re more like... I dunno, like feral creatures backed into a corner doing what we need to do to survive. Does that make sense?”

“Kind of?”

“And! And!” Futaba added, their eyes suddenly lighting up. “Every monster has their Person. Like— In movies and books, the Good Monsters always have that one person who understands them and loves them despite all their weird monstrousness. So like— Sumi is my Person. And Akira is your Person.”

“Like those old stories of humans falling in love with mythical creatures and Gods?”

“Yeah!” Futaba nodded, and their expression softened a bit. “So... Y’know. If you’re gonna view yourself as a monster, at least know that you’re a monster who’s very good and very loved.”

Goro didn’t really know what to say to that. He’d never really thought of himself as anything but a horrific amalgamation of trauma, rage, despair, and all those other ugly feelings he’d rather keep buried inside himself. “Good” was not a word he’d ever even _consider_ describing himself with. 

“Hey, um—“ Futaba’s voice pulled Goro out of his thoughts. He glanced over at them, gesturing for them to continue. “I know I asked earlier but— Would you mind maybe braiding my hair? So it doesn’t get tangled? And... Can I maybe sleep in your bed tonight?”

Goro didn’t even think before nodding at that. After all he had done tonight, he supposed there wasn’t any Tough Angry Evil Boy image left to hold up. There wasn’t really any point trying to act hesitant or mean anymore.

Besides— He was the big brother. It was his job to take care of Futaba, even if sometimes he wasn’t the greatest at it. 

Weird Monster Half-Siblings needed to stick together, or something cheesy like that.


End file.
